Are you experiencing stress about not knowing how your case will end? Or worse, are you spending hours or days imagining and emotionally feeling the worst possible outcome?
Research shows that as we imagine the worst case scenarios in our lives, 85% of the time the worst case does not happen.
So I’d like to give you a few tips to be more at peace, happier in your life and more effective in your case.
- Accept the moment. Many of us resist, complain about, or struggle with what is happening in our lives in the moment. There is nothing we can do to change, right now, reality as it is. We can prefer that it not be this way, and take positive steps to create a different reality. However, if we spend mental and emotional energy on the impossible – fighting or trying to avoid the reality of this moment – then that stress, worry, frustration and sadness drain our energy and focus, making us less able to change the future. Here’s an example of accepting self-talk:
“O.k., this is what is what is in my life right now. I’ll do my best. Even though this is difficult, I can be calm and relaxed. Although I’m feeling bad about this, I fully love and accept myself as I am, right now.
- Practice empathy. Think of the other person(s) as also caught up in negativity. No matter how many negative thoughts and feelings they are experiencing, it has to flow through their heart first. If you can see them as, like you, a struggling human with the spark of the divine, a soul, some of the light of love in their heart, then you can begin to feel some empathy for them. Empathy will ease your pain, and also help you communicate with them in ways that may soften their heart. Empathy for others is a beautiful and powerful practice. You might begin with something like:
“Wow, it must be awful for them to have all of that anger/pain/blame moving through their heart and mind. I feel for them. I hope they will be able to soften and open and heal from this situation.”
- Turn it over to your Higher Power. We don’t know what may be best for us. Perhaps we are to have a difficult experience to learn something, or to strengthen us for bigger tasks. Practice prayer or meditation, going into the stillness and silence as much as you can. Set aside your worries just for the time of this practice. “Come before the divine with empty hands” means to set aside everything – your fear, judgment, sadness, confusion, anger, self-criticism. Soften and set aside, as much as you can, your thoughts and feelings about this situation. By releasing these, even temporarily while you pray or meditate, you leave space for that still small voice, and for a taste of the comfort and peace that the divine has to offer.
“Help me. Guide me. Take the burden of these hard emotions from me. Let me experience Your Peace, Your Wisdom, Your Pure Love. Let me also share these, especially with those who appear before me as enemies.”