Are you experiencing stress about not knowing how your case will end? Or worse, are you spending hours or days imagining and emotionally feeling the worst possible outcome?
Research shows that as we imagine the worst case scenarios in our lives, 85% of the time the worst case does not happen.
So I’d like to give you a few tips to be more at peace, happier in your life and more effective in your case.
- Accept the moment. Many of us resist, complain about, or struggle with what is happening in our lives in the moment. There is nothing we can do to change, right now, reality as it is. We can prefer that it not be this way, and take positive steps to create a different reality. However, if we spend mental and emotional energy on the impossible – fighting current reality – then that stress and worry and anger and sadness deplete us, making us less able to change the future. Your helpful self-talk and re-framing might be:
“O.k., this is what I’m having to deal with. It’s here for some reason.I’ll do my best if I’m calm and clear and positive, rather than freaking out.”
- Practice empathy. Think of the other person(s) as also caught up in the negativity, and no matter how much they are dishing out or receiving, it is still flowing through them. If you can see them as, like you, just being a struggling human yet with the spark of the divine, a soul, some of the light of God in their heart, then you can perhaps feel something for them. This softening in your heart toward them, importantly, will soften your feelings and pain about the whole situation. Empathy for others is a beautiful and powerful practice. You might begin with something like
“Wow, it must be awful for them to have all of that _______ flowing throughtheir heart and mind. I feel for them. I can wish them well here – that they soften and open and heal from this negativity.”
- Turn it over to your Higher Power. We don’t know what may be best for us. Perhaps we are to have a difficult experience to learn something, or to strengthen us for bigger tasks. Practice prayer or meditation, going into the stillness and silence as much as you can. Set aside your worries just for the time of this practice.
“Come before God with empty hands” means to set aside everything – your fear, judgment, sadness, confusion, anger, self-criticism. By releasing these, even temporarily while you pray or meditate, you leave space for that still small voice, and for a taste of the comfort and peace that the divine has to offer.“Help me. Guide me. Take the burden of these hard emotions from me. Let me experience Your Peace, Your Wisdom, Your Pure Love.”